On 20th November 2013, Mama Tok was
suspected of having a 'mini stroke'. That was what the doctor said after
'hearing' the symptoms told by Mama Tok. Having no such experience
before, the pain in the neck plus the numbness of the left side of neck, face
and upper limbs would throw anybody into a lot of fear. Although there was no
lost of sensation nor weakness of the limbs, Mama Tok had to digest any emotion
of fear so as to give inner strength to oneself. The struggling part was to
motivate in pursuing any of the things that made Mama Tok happy before. But
somehow Mama Tok broke down when the numbness keep coming and seeing the
tiredness and fear in everybody's eyes in the family.
It all happened when Mama Tok's husband
was in his peak of his tiredness due to his long working hours and oversea
trips.
It also happened when Mama Tok's second
daughter was in her peak of happiness due to her coming convocation. Her fear
was whether her mum would be 'there' for the occasion and share her happiness.
While the twin boys, at the early age of
adolescence were as confused as their mum!
They all need Mama Tok's support to share
their tiredness and happiness BUT Mama Tok was in the peak of ' pain in the
neck'!
It was so frustrating (and frightening) to
experience such a feeling of 'negligence' from our love ones since our feelings
at that moment were not in 'alignment' with each other.
At such moment when Mama Tok feel 'alone'
in the fear of trying to understand where the pain in the neck came from, the
verses from Al Quran suddenly reminded this frightening soul that at the Day Of
Judgement everybody will run away from each other even from their love ones. Everybody
will avoid taking responsibility on others and their only concern are on the
safety of themselves from the Hell fire.
Gradually Alhamdulillah, Mama Tok managed
to be calm again after looking at the bright side of things that a wife and a
mother has a great influence on the success and happiness of the family.
The wife of the Prophet Muhammad s.a.w.
was a great support to her husband. Even near her death, she was willing to do
anything even if her bones were to be sold for the sake of her husband's mission
for Islam.
This reminded Mama Tok that not only
husband should be strong for the wife, but the wife should also be strong for
the husband. Throughout our 28 years of marriage, there were many ups and
downs. But somehow we managed to go through the difficulties. We learn to
accept each other's weaknesses and support one another in our own little ways.
We try to run our marriage like a team not a contest. So how could Mama Tok not
love such a man who had given his best effort to make Mama Tok happy? How could
Mama Tok not forgive them for their tiredness and 'negligence' since they are
also human ?
So if we choose to live together, try to support each other. If we can't support each other, it's time to examine why it happens in our family or marriage.
Is it lack of love, lack of time, lack of
energy, lack of money, lack of knowledge, lack of patience, lack of sensitivity
for others or just plain selfishness or arrogance ?
As in Mama Tok's case- its fear and
tiredness...and it just adds on...
After a few consultations from other
doctors, it showed that Mama Tok actually suffered from cervical spondylosis.
From Mama Tok's personal observations, the amount of housework do effect the
pain in the neck. In other words, Mama Tok has to limit myself from doing too
much housework in a limited time. The load of housework has to be spread out so
as not to exert pain in the neck, stress and tiredness. Unless the family
understand the situation and be more helpful with the housework, it is not
surprise Mama Tok will be the 'pain in the neck' for everybody !
The pain in the neck and the numbness are
still there most of the time, but somehow the fear is slowly
diminishing.
Unless tiredness keep creeping again....
Mama Tok Quiet Moments
'Soup For The Soul'
Find strength again by remembering Allah
to 'support' us in good and in bad, in health and in sickness.
His love toward's us is unconditional
love.
He 'heard' us whatever we have to say
day or night.
So 'go back' to Him if we still love and
trust him.
Why?
Because our hierarchy of love and
dependence should be Allah in the first place, followed by Prophet
Muhammad s.a.w.
The husband comes third for a good wife
while the mother comes third for a good son.What about our parents ? Just
respect them..
If we love and be loved by the right
'person', we have no fear in life.
